At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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