Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
