He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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