I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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