Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
