he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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