I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
