walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
