You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
