taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
