Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
