I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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