Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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