I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
