The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
