very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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