so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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