I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So vagazzling was a success
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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