Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize