Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
