We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
