rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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