He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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