miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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