One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
