Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
