When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
