Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
