What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
