i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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