And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
