She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
