I want to stick my p in your. b.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Houston, we have a squirter
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
