the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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