She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
