so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
