I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize