It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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