question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
