It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
