was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is it because I queefed?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
