He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
