It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
