U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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