Just mADE A PArabola og urine
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just want nice things and good sex
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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