My liver just broke up with me...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
