He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
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