We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
