Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I didn't notice because vodka
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
