That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize