a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
