he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the day after is always just damage control
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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