$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you never un-have a 4some
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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