After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
