Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
