you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
