he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
