"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
