my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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