he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
