Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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